What is Love?

Tarifa, February 17th 2023

What is Love?

Who doesn’t like a good love story? I know I can’t resist. And so many others share my sentiments. So many poems, songs, movies and books have been written about love. It shows that many of us love love. And given we are still in Valentine’s week, let’s talk about love.

Love is a universal force. And it is so powerful. However, many of us look for love in the wrong places. We learn to look for love outside of ourselves. And when that happens, love becomes a transaction. It creates dependency.

Suddenly love becomes something you claim. It is something you look for. And when it is taken away from you, you feel you have lost love. Or worse, the belief grows that you are not loveable.

Love will never leave you, but people will

Love can never be claimed. Love is not a currency. Love is not a transaction. Love is free. Love is something we have and it is meant to be shared. Love is all. It does not come with conditions. It is there, always!

And even though love is a universal force, the way you give, receive and cultivate love is deeply personal. When it comes to love, it is simple: If you want to attract love, give love. And the same goes for all of you who are in a relationship. Never stop giving. Not just to others but also to yourself.

What you don’t have for yourself you can not give to another.

One of the key ingredients in receiving love is the love you hold for yourself. Because you can not give or share what you don’t have. If you want to have a loving relationship, make sure you cultivate one with yourself first. Just like with everything in life, when you want to build something big and beautiful, you need to make sure your foundations are solid.

Mister London

I know some of you have been waiting impatiently to read about Mister London. So he did it! He flew all the way from London to the most southern point in the south. He crossed an ocean, took a 3 hour bus ride, walked a hill to find me and take me on a date. I’ve always wanted to write an introduction like this. And even though this could have been the beginning of a beautiful love story, I am afraid the story has come to an end.

And yes, you can all sigh and exhale “oooh” collectively. I hear you! Many of my friends advised me to not have expectations. But somehow my brain works differently. I live by the rule: “go all in or don’t go at all”. And when it comes to my “quest for love” I am no different. I am a storyteller, a dreamer and a creative, how could I be?

But I also learned that having expectations is not the problem. Dealing with the disappointment when expectations are not met is. But part of growing up is learning and getting better at managing this.

Lessons on Love

It was not easy to say goodbye to Mister London because we vibed really well. But there was one crucial ingredient missing: timing.

Even though he ticked all the boxes, there were certain elements out of our control that got in the way. To continue any kind of relationship with him doesn’t feel right. So we had to say goodbye. But we both left on really good terms and with many lessons on love.

We both learned that when you are serious about love, when you are intentional about wanting a relationship, you need to commit to it. You need to show-up in a way so that the things you want can find you.

Secondly, we both learned that we need to make space for love. If you are serious about wanting a loving relationship, or if you want to keep your relationship a nice place to hang-out at, make sure you create space and protect that space.

And last but not least: Trust. Trust life and know and feel that whatever you want will find you. I have practiced this rule so many times in different settings that I can assure you it is law! So never settle for less.

And with this, the story of Mister London and I has come to an end. Just like the song “une belle histoire” by Michel Fugain, he travelled back north and I will keep travelling south.

But one thing is certain: We both raised the bar for ourselves and each other because that’s what you do when you want to change your reality. We both took a stand for romance. We both took a risk. We both chose adventure. And we both opened our hearts for love.  

Happy belated Valentine’s day.

Sending you love, always!


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